Life..Love..and the Pusuit of happiness

So right now My brother is getting ready to go to Florida for nine days and I'm getting ready for Rock The River. I know Rock The River will be AMAZING but, I'm still kinda of scared of going downtown with my youth group..Guess I'll just have to suck it up or find a tazer XD.

So right now I guess my life could be described by the song 'Show me What I'm looking for'(Carolina Liar) 'Cause right now I'm super confused about everything and I really want some answers.
Question one, Just Why? Why? Why? why? why?
Simple enough,Right? Wrong.
I want to know most of all what God thinks of me.
Then comes the female part of me wondering what guys are thinking. I mean seriously why is everyone so scared of letting people know what they think? Though I can't really blame them I just want to know,you know?

I've started wondering about self-harm, not that I would do it just wondering if i would help. Which I have concluded to a 'NO' Cuz then I'd have my parents and brother on my back about it and stuff. But I really need some way to get this out and I HATE crying so that isn't the answer. I also find it hard talking to others about my feelings (Big surprise,Right?] So it's like I have to keep it bottled up but, I scared about what'll happen when the pressure becomes unbarable and I explode..

I have alot to think about and I'm guessing you're getting quiet bored with my rambling so I bid you adu.

Signed a very confused,
~Aurora~

Chicken Soup for the teenage soul 2

I was reading this book today and decided to put some of the entries on here.


Gray
When I was a child
I saw in black and white.
Everything was obvious
Either wrong or right.
No arguments,no pros and cons
Choices were precise.
Pure and Joyous clarity
Gave me a simple life.
So I grew and learned to face the world
Living life that way.
And now I feel unprepared
'Cause black and white has turned Gray
MY Unfaltering vision failed
Focus left my eyes
Where choices were once obvious
I can't tell wrong from right
Because today I am a teenager
And nothings quiet so clear
I'm seeing through an adults eyes
A child's biggest fear
~Constance Ananta Sobsey

Inside
Bottled up inside
Are words I never said,
The feelings that I hide.
The lines you never read.

You can see it in my eyes,
Read it on my face:
Trapped inside are lies
Of the past I can't replace.

With memories the linger-
Won't seem to go away.
Why can't I be happier?
Today's a brand-new day.

Yesterdays are over,
Even though the hurting's not.
Nothing lasts forever,
I must cherish what I've got.

Don't take my love for granted,
For soon it will be gone-
All you ever wanted
Of the love you thought you'd won

The hurt I'm feeling now
Won't disappear overnight,
But someway,somehow,
Everything will turn out right,

No more wishing for the past
It wasn't meant to be
It didn't seem to last,
So I have to set him free.
~Melissa Collette


Well thats it for now...
~Aurora

Cock it and pull it, 'Cause frankly I suck

I just wanted to let ya'll now I SUCK. I uniintentionally hurt someone I love dearly and I feel horriable.
I re-read my last post last night through her eyes and I started to cry. How could I have been so mean? I never ment to hurt anyone and I should've seen this coming..
So I just wanted to apologize for hurting her and just let everyone know how much I suck as a friend.

I'M SO SORRY!
~Aurora~

The heart breaking truth

So as most of you have already figured out. No Aurora is NOT my real name but, I feel safer doing this anonymously.
I will tell you one thing though, if you can't handle the thoughts of a hyperactive,slightly depressed and mostly brain dead person. Please don't read on.
This blog will be about everything I've come to know and everything I can't handle keeping bottled up any more so without further or due. Welcome one and all to Aurora's Inward thoughts.
Thats it for now Cherrio,
Aurora